"Teka...babae ka nga ba?"
How would you answer a question like this? This was the last thing I expected to hear -- from my dad! My biological father no less!!!
He even looked at me with a big question mark written all over his face. May pabahol pang, "eh bakit ba kse wla ka pa ulet bf hanggang ngayon". May pailing iling pa ng ulo!
I just stared at him.
Is this what I get from being single for 2 years now? I thought I was doing them a favor by being careful with the guys I go out with. I have become too picky. And without them knowing, I am doing this for them. Yes, we get to choose our partners and everything boils down to OUR decisions. But if I had the choice, I still wouldn't want to disappoint my parents. I'm hoping that one day, when I get married (or should I say IF I get married), they'd get along with the man I've chosen.
Flash back: year 1999. My mom was satisfied with the fact that I was single. She even prayed that I would remain one for a couple more years. On my birthday of that same year, she wrote in her birthday card for me: "You are a nice daughter...blah blah blah..and sana next year, wala ka pa ring boyfriend".
The following year, I had a boyfriend. and I could honestly say that my parents were..hmmm, let's just say that they didn't really talk about my having a relationship. I took it that they consented my relationhip with my bf at that time.
Mid year 2001. I was single again. Year 2002, single. Year 2003, still single. And all these dragging years of my being single actually made my dad to conclude that I am...a lesbian???? OMG!!! Can you tell that I'm shocked???
At least my mom was there to defend me. "Alam mo naman yang anak mo... mapili. Gusto smart, masipag, etc etc."
Ayun. At least may isa sa kanilang alam na mapili lang kse talga ko. Haaay..lord!!! Ano ba ito!
One friend made a comment when she found out about this...sabi nya..."sana sinabi mo sa dad mo, 'hay dad, read my blog nalang!'" Hehe.
Just to set the record straight, the last time i checked, babae ako. =)
I love being a girl! Sabi nga ni twin...isa akong GEL (babae). Yun dn masasabi ko ngayon.
Hmmm...kala cguro ng parents ko eh zero activity ako sa dating scene. I still get more than my share of dates...hehehe...*wink*
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
Thursday, September 18, 2003
Into my head, into my heart, and into my system
Perhaps the reason why I am contemplating too much on my being single and pathetic is because I have no serious problem to think about. If you were one of the very lucky (:P) people who is close to me, you could say that the life I have right now and the situations laid before me are not complex. Not at all.
It's a weird feeling, but I actually feel envious that some of my friends have more hurdles to get over with. Maybe I'm just hungry for challenges. And with that, I suddenly made my petty worries appear like serious cases.
I texted my closest friends with messages like, "I can never seem to hold anyone close very long. With every 'potential' guy that I meet, there's always a whole complicated story to tell. I have heard all kinds of reasons why a guy would suddenly be afraid to take on the next level of our friendship. And please, don't say na 'darating din yan'. Can't it be na ako naman yung dumating? Life!
Pathetic na ko dba?
Although I wasn't really asking for replies, most of them did. I just needed to vent. It was really enough for me to know that they were listening (or reading). But their thoughts helped me more than they could ever imagine. As my bes guy bud put it, I should know better why every 'potential' guy won’t put through. I should not think that someone will come nor arrive for someone. I should delight in the fact that I have all the time to be ready for who the Almighty has prepared for me...cause each of us has one in the proper time. He even wished me patience. =) Oh, and he started the message by saying that 'you are a beautiful a person'. And indeed, I felt that I was...inside and out.
I am ok. And this is something that I should start putting in my head, into my heart, and into my whole system.
Perhaps the reason why I am contemplating too much on my being single and pathetic is because I have no serious problem to think about. If you were one of the very lucky (:P) people who is close to me, you could say that the life I have right now and the situations laid before me are not complex. Not at all.
It's a weird feeling, but I actually feel envious that some of my friends have more hurdles to get over with. Maybe I'm just hungry for challenges. And with that, I suddenly made my petty worries appear like serious cases.
I texted my closest friends with messages like, "I can never seem to hold anyone close very long. With every 'potential' guy that I meet, there's always a whole complicated story to tell. I have heard all kinds of reasons why a guy would suddenly be afraid to take on the next level of our friendship. And please, don't say na 'darating din yan'. Can't it be na ako naman yung dumating? Life!
Pathetic na ko dba?
Although I wasn't really asking for replies, most of them did. I just needed to vent. It was really enough for me to know that they were listening (or reading). But their thoughts helped me more than they could ever imagine. As my bes guy bud put it, I should know better why every 'potential' guy won’t put through. I should not think that someone will come nor arrive for someone. I should delight in the fact that I have all the time to be ready for who the Almighty has prepared for me...cause each of us has one in the proper time. He even wished me patience. =) Oh, and he started the message by saying that 'you are a beautiful a person'. And indeed, I felt that I was...inside and out.
I am ok. And this is something that I should start putting in my head, into my heart, and into my whole system.
Sunday, September 14, 2003
"maswerte ka..."
2 years and 1 month.
I have been officially single for 2 years and one month now.
How has life been for me?
I am generally happy, satisfied and grateful for all the things in my life now. Honest. But any single person can probably agree with me when I say that there are moments when loneliness just kicks in. I have my family, I have amazing friends in my life...but...there's just this missing piece in the puzzle. I guess you all know what I'm referring to. No, I will NOT say it...it sounds too cheesy...hehehe...
'Maswerte ka'. My dearest girl friend uttered these two words to me. She was pointing out how lucky I am that I don't end up with the guys I've dated for the past year that I've known her. Simpy put, she believes that these guys don't deserve to have me. Yes, I am too damn good for them! Hehe! Seriously, if she had a choice, she doesn't want me to go through so much pain...she thinks I'm too fragile for that. Aaaaw...ang protective ng friend kow. Labs na labs ko yan eh.
As we were talking...one question kept running on my mind...'maswerte nga ba ako?'.
It is through other people that I would discover the positive side of a supposed depressing situation. I usually despair when a 'relationship' has ended before it even had begun. But her words..those two strong words...'maswerte ka' -- made me realize that these upsetting situations would actually work for my advantage. I will learn. I will be wiser. And if I could avoid it, I would not get stuck in a relationship wherein my time and effort were wasted.
Thanks bes..I almost forgot how wonderful it is to be single..until you said those words to me.
2 years and 1 month.
I have been officially single for 2 years and one month now.
How has life been for me?
I am generally happy, satisfied and grateful for all the things in my life now. Honest. But any single person can probably agree with me when I say that there are moments when loneliness just kicks in. I have my family, I have amazing friends in my life...but...there's just this missing piece in the puzzle. I guess you all know what I'm referring to. No, I will NOT say it...it sounds too cheesy...hehehe...
'Maswerte ka'. My dearest girl friend uttered these two words to me. She was pointing out how lucky I am that I don't end up with the guys I've dated for the past year that I've known her. Simpy put, she believes that these guys don't deserve to have me. Yes, I am too damn good for them! Hehe! Seriously, if she had a choice, she doesn't want me to go through so much pain...she thinks I'm too fragile for that. Aaaaw...ang protective ng friend kow. Labs na labs ko yan eh.
As we were talking...one question kept running on my mind...'maswerte nga ba ako?'.
It is through other people that I would discover the positive side of a supposed depressing situation. I usually despair when a 'relationship' has ended before it even had begun. But her words..those two strong words...'maswerte ka' -- made me realize that these upsetting situations would actually work for my advantage. I will learn. I will be wiser. And if I could avoid it, I would not get stuck in a relationship wherein my time and effort were wasted.
Thanks bes..I almost forgot how wonderful it is to be single..until you said those words to me.
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
I only keep growing...
It's just strange, even when I'm hating the world and wishing it'd go away, I still find myself being entirely pure in my reasoning and thought.
I am aware that I owe a lot to the people close to me...and for that I beg for apology, but mostly I owe myself more time to pamper, to cultivate, to create. Am I just too darned volatile for my own good? Be that as it may, I am confident to say that I can very well adapt to the changes in my life. I have hurdled many of my life's events -- which can stretch to a complex thing and bounce back to a normal state.
Wonderful things are happening to me…I am not ungrateful, but sometimes I wonder if I deserve it all. I know I do...I just have to keep reminding myself of that...
So I might as well face the day, because I only get wiser as the days go on. I only learn a little more with each trial I face. I only keep growing...
It's just strange, even when I'm hating the world and wishing it'd go away, I still find myself being entirely pure in my reasoning and thought.
I am aware that I owe a lot to the people close to me...and for that I beg for apology, but mostly I owe myself more time to pamper, to cultivate, to create. Am I just too darned volatile for my own good? Be that as it may, I am confident to say that I can very well adapt to the changes in my life. I have hurdled many of my life's events -- which can stretch to a complex thing and bounce back to a normal state.
Wonderful things are happening to me…I am not ungrateful, but sometimes I wonder if I deserve it all. I know I do...I just have to keep reminding myself of that...
So I might as well face the day, because I only get wiser as the days go on. I only learn a little more with each trial I face. I only keep growing...
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
Hope for me yet...
Who am I trying to fool? I can be bitter. I can get angry. I can feel hopeless. But I am still the same girl who thought she could step into a mirror and find herself somewhere else. I still wish on stars. I keep drifting off in daydreams. I have faith in the world.
That is who I am.
Of course, I have bad days...I have bad weeks. But I've never had bad months or a bad whole year. No, I don't let it last that long.
Life is too short to hold on to grudges and to build walls around you and to pretend like nobody else but yourself matters. It might be easier, it's definitely easier, but it doesn't feel nearly as good as it does to forgive someone and let someone new into your life and give your time and thought and compassion away.
It's worth it. I know it doesn't feel that way sometimes. I know it seems impossible sometimes. But it is. This is what I tell myself. This is what I need to remember.
There's hope for me, yet.
Who am I trying to fool? I can be bitter. I can get angry. I can feel hopeless. But I am still the same girl who thought she could step into a mirror and find herself somewhere else. I still wish on stars. I keep drifting off in daydreams. I have faith in the world.
That is who I am.
Of course, I have bad days...I have bad weeks. But I've never had bad months or a bad whole year. No, I don't let it last that long.
Life is too short to hold on to grudges and to build walls around you and to pretend like nobody else but yourself matters. It might be easier, it's definitely easier, but it doesn't feel nearly as good as it does to forgive someone and let someone new into your life and give your time and thought and compassion away.
It's worth it. I know it doesn't feel that way sometimes. I know it seems impossible sometimes. But it is. This is what I tell myself. This is what I need to remember.
There's hope for me, yet.
Thursday, August 28, 2003
There goes my life..dangling on a string...
When I am unsure of the present, I dive into my memories. I just float there,
to where the water is warm and calm. Maybe that's the reason why I reminisce so
much -- because the past is tangible; I can see it and feel it, because it
already exists. The thing with the future is anything can happen. In some ways
that is refreshing and hopeful, but in other ways, it's almost paralyzing. It
is paralyzing because even the worst possibilities can arise.
Right now, I feel like I am hanging by a single strand of hope. I am holding on
so tightly, but my hands are starting to hurt and I am losing my grip. I keep
thinking maybe somebody will pull me up, soon. Any minute now, somebody will
approach the cliff and grab hold of me, and lift me, and my feet will be back
on the ground, ready to run.
It's not a desperate state that I'm in, not at all. That's why I feel kind of
funny even talking about it. Life is good. I can't complain, and if I do, I am
a blind fool, because clearly I am so lucky.
I know I've said this a million times, but I can't help but notice this
recurring feeling...that sometimes, I really don't feel like I'm headed
anywhere. And that is a foreign, frightening realization for someone who is
always on the go and keeps her life in a steadfast nature.
I usually read articles about people and their success stories. And I wonder
what mine will be. I wonder where I see my life headed in the long run. I just
stare into space dumbfoundedly, because I honestly don't know. Yes, I may have
plans in life, but there are things that I still fall short on to make these
plans materialize. Courage, determination, perseverance, inspiration, maybe all
of these.
I suppose it also depends on factors beyond my control, decisions that have yet
to be made, and a whole list of if x, then y equations.
Maybe I'm just becoming a worrywart. And maybe these ideas are simply
reflections of my fears. Whatever the case may be, I have to wait, and I will
continue living this spherical life. I will keep telling myself that it all
works out in the end; and hope that cliches are right.
When I am unsure of the present, I dive into my memories. I just float there,
to where the water is warm and calm. Maybe that's the reason why I reminisce so
much -- because the past is tangible; I can see it and feel it, because it
already exists. The thing with the future is anything can happen. In some ways
that is refreshing and hopeful, but in other ways, it's almost paralyzing. It
is paralyzing because even the worst possibilities can arise.
Right now, I feel like I am hanging by a single strand of hope. I am holding on
so tightly, but my hands are starting to hurt and I am losing my grip. I keep
thinking maybe somebody will pull me up, soon. Any minute now, somebody will
approach the cliff and grab hold of me, and lift me, and my feet will be back
on the ground, ready to run.
It's not a desperate state that I'm in, not at all. That's why I feel kind of
funny even talking about it. Life is good. I can't complain, and if I do, I am
a blind fool, because clearly I am so lucky.
I know I've said this a million times, but I can't help but notice this
recurring feeling...that sometimes, I really don't feel like I'm headed
anywhere. And that is a foreign, frightening realization for someone who is
always on the go and keeps her life in a steadfast nature.
I usually read articles about people and their success stories. And I wonder
what mine will be. I wonder where I see my life headed in the long run. I just
stare into space dumbfoundedly, because I honestly don't know. Yes, I may have
plans in life, but there are things that I still fall short on to make these
plans materialize. Courage, determination, perseverance, inspiration, maybe all
of these.
I suppose it also depends on factors beyond my control, decisions that have yet
to be made, and a whole list of if x, then y equations.
Maybe I'm just becoming a worrywart. And maybe these ideas are simply
reflections of my fears. Whatever the case may be, I have to wait, and I will
continue living this spherical life. I will keep telling myself that it all
works out in the end; and hope that cliches are right.
Saturday, August 23, 2003
In God's time
As I sit and watch the rolling sea
I wonder if true love between us can ever be
In my heart are feelings that I cannot explain
But the words that come to mind are so simple and plain
They are words like I love you, I need you, or It's just the thought of you
But when these words come to my mind I don't know what to do
I don't know if I should forget it or just give it time
I wish I could keep my heart from controlling my mind
I know someday my true feelings I will find
But only when It is right and in God's due time
As I sit and watch the rolling sea
I wonder if true love between us can ever be
In my heart are feelings that I cannot explain
But the words that come to mind are so simple and plain
They are words like I love you, I need you, or It's just the thought of you
But when these words come to my mind I don't know what to do
I don't know if I should forget it or just give it time
I wish I could keep my heart from controlling my mind
I know someday my true feelings I will find
But only when It is right and in God's due time
Thursday, August 21, 2003
an excerpt from Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook:
"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are
connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've
lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've
found each other. And maybe each time we've been forced apart for
the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for
the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.
When I look at you, I see your beauty and grace and I know they have
grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have
spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like
you, but YOU, for your soul and mine must always come together. And
then, for a reason neither of us understands, we've been forced to
say goodbye.
I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and I
promise to do all I can to make sure it does. But if we never meet
again and this is truly goodbye, I know we will see each other again
in another life. We will find each other again, and maybe the stars
will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that
time, but for all the times we've had before."
"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are
connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've
lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've
found each other. And maybe each time we've been forced apart for
the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for
the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.
When I look at you, I see your beauty and grace and I know they have
grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have
spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like
you, but YOU, for your soul and mine must always come together. And
then, for a reason neither of us understands, we've been forced to
say goodbye.
I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and I
promise to do all I can to make sure it does. But if we never meet
again and this is truly goodbye, I know we will see each other again
in another life. We will find each other again, and maybe the stars
will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that
time, but for all the times we've had before."
BITCHDOM
I love this..twas written by someone from a mailing list which i am a member of. I can relate pare!
Read on...
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call
me a bitch. When I stand up for those I love, they
call me a bitch. When I speak my mind, think my own
thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a
bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my
heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I
won't allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to
tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am
defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself
instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a
little selfish. It means I have the courage and
strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and
won't become anyone else's idea of what they think
I "should" be. I am outspoken, opinionated and
determined. I want what I want and there is nothing
wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame,
try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within
me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch,
so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
I love this..twas written by someone from a mailing list which i am a member of. I can relate pare!
Read on...
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call
me a bitch. When I stand up for those I love, they
call me a bitch. When I speak my mind, think my own
thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a
bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my
heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I
won't allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to
tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am
defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself
instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a
little selfish. It means I have the courage and
strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and
won't become anyone else's idea of what they think
I "should" be. I am outspoken, opinionated and
determined. I want what I want and there is nothing
wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame,
try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within
me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch,
so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Saturday, August 16, 2003
--frazzled--
I'm still not having one of the best days of my life...I was late for my shift due to the freakin' bad weather! I left early for work but to no avail! I was more than 1 hour late! My cab fare reached as high as PHP225. Gosh!
I had a f**cked up day yesterday. Mainly due to stress caused by work, partly due to emotional imbalance. Oh, and let's not forget to mention the fact that I'm almost always sleep deprived.
I usually want to be around people when I'm down...but yesterday was one of the rare moments when I just wanted to shut everyone out. I found it strange that I didn't even want to be around the company of one of my favorite friends in the world. I felt guilty. I should have been there for her because she
needed more...her situation is more sensitive than mine.
So for the remaining hours of the day, I'll try to make myself feel better. I'll try to think of happy thoughts and actually let them sink in. I'll make it up to my friend..I owe her big time!
I'm still not having one of the best days of my life...I was late for my shift due to the freakin' bad weather! I left early for work but to no avail! I was more than 1 hour late! My cab fare reached as high as PHP225. Gosh!
I had a f**cked up day yesterday. Mainly due to stress caused by work, partly due to emotional imbalance. Oh, and let's not forget to mention the fact that I'm almost always sleep deprived.
I usually want to be around people when I'm down...but yesterday was one of the rare moments when I just wanted to shut everyone out. I found it strange that I didn't even want to be around the company of one of my favorite friends in the world. I felt guilty. I should have been there for her because she
needed more...her situation is more sensitive than mine.
So for the remaining hours of the day, I'll try to make myself feel better. I'll try to think of happy thoughts and actually let them sink in. I'll make it up to my friend..I owe her big time!
Friday, August 15, 2003
scattered...
I am scattered all over the place right now. I am carrying an armful of emotions, but they keep falling to the ground, and when i bend down to pick one up, another one falls. So here i am, taking slow steps, holding on tightly to the load. My arms are not strong enough for this.
People say i am strong, but i don't feel strong. I feel like the slightest gust of wind could blow me over. I could crumble into a million pieces and disappear with a breeze.
So many good things are happening. I am not ungrateful, but sometimes i wonder if i deserve it all. One of these days, i think, my luck is going to run out, and then what? I will find myself on some street corner with a handwritten sign asking for your kindness.
Hope and wonder and anxiety and contentment and fear. I don't even know what i'm feeling...
I am scattered all over the place right now. I am carrying an armful of emotions, but they keep falling to the ground, and when i bend down to pick one up, another one falls. So here i am, taking slow steps, holding on tightly to the load. My arms are not strong enough for this.
People say i am strong, but i don't feel strong. I feel like the slightest gust of wind could blow me over. I could crumble into a million pieces and disappear with a breeze.
So many good things are happening. I am not ungrateful, but sometimes i wonder if i deserve it all. One of these days, i think, my luck is going to run out, and then what? I will find myself on some street corner with a handwritten sign asking for your kindness.
Hope and wonder and anxiety and contentment and fear. I don't even know what i'm feeling...
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Wounded
-=aileen=-
02jan02
I sauntered down the alley, not knowing what I'd see
From all corners I can feel the shadow following me
Deafening voices repeatedly chanting my name
Sweet vindication proving to be the game
Their dark schemes trying to wreck the inner me
Wrangling with the ropes I fought to be free
Disdain with the essence of insanity
I repudiate the foulness of this unforgiven society
The mimicked voices beneath this hidden verse
Every word uttered forsaken and cursed
Synopsis of me I proclaim to you
Deeply reflecting the sense I really do
Cruel tenderness flare their soul
None of which I had the power to control
Sooner or later theirs is no life to defend
Tender with my wounds, I struggle to reach the end
Perplexity in all forms and meanings never leave my side
Faithful to thy self, there is a will blossoming behind
Wedging between the depths of everything it may seem
I have discovered the deliberate journey of life in extreme
**Author's note: I wrote this when I resigned from my previous job. Yeah, it was a loathe filled experience...
-=aileen=-
02jan02
I sauntered down the alley, not knowing what I'd see
From all corners I can feel the shadow following me
Deafening voices repeatedly chanting my name
Sweet vindication proving to be the game
Their dark schemes trying to wreck the inner me
Wrangling with the ropes I fought to be free
Disdain with the essence of insanity
I repudiate the foulness of this unforgiven society
The mimicked voices beneath this hidden verse
Every word uttered forsaken and cursed
Synopsis of me I proclaim to you
Deeply reflecting the sense I really do
Cruel tenderness flare their soul
None of which I had the power to control
Sooner or later theirs is no life to defend
Tender with my wounds, I struggle to reach the end
Perplexity in all forms and meanings never leave my side
Faithful to thy self, there is a will blossoming behind
Wedging between the depths of everything it may seem
I have discovered the deliberate journey of life in extreme
**Author's note: I wrote this when I resigned from my previous job. Yeah, it was a loathe filled experience...
Nice, Naive and Beautiful...
What's behind the title of my blog...?
It was supposed to be a temporary title, just to get my blog started. But after hearing Plumb's song, it just grew on me. It is a somber ballad for the abused. Don't get me wrong, I'm not abused in any way, and you can say that I really cannot relate directly to the song. Be that as it may, the lyrics reminds me of the hard truth that we go through pain for no reason. We have the opportunity to take it and use it for our betterment.
Nice, naive and beautiful...wonderful combination if you ask me.
Hmmm....I know what you guys are saying now...."Si jarjar talga, nag explain na naman!" hehe. Fine. That's my trademark. It's part and parcel of who I am. *wink*
Here's the lyrics:
She's only known heartache and pain
But she's never known pain like this
She stands alone defending her name
When all that she's done is be who she is
Well is it so wrong to be who we are
When all she's done is fail
Cause she's so nice, naive and beautiful
Why does she get taken advantage
Why does she live in a world so cold
She takes advantage of the nice, naive and the beautiful
Cold is the throne of her hardened heart
No one has seen the softest part
Day after night she holds an ache
And won't budge to show this secret place
Well is it so wrong to hang on to hurt
Maybe she could set it free
Cause she's so nice, naive and beautiful
Why did she get taken for granted
Why did she live in a world so cold
He took advantage of the nice, naive and the beautiful
What's behind the title of my blog...?
It was supposed to be a temporary title, just to get my blog started. But after hearing Plumb's song, it just grew on me. It is a somber ballad for the abused. Don't get me wrong, I'm not abused in any way, and you can say that I really cannot relate directly to the song. Be that as it may, the lyrics reminds me of the hard truth that we go through pain for no reason. We have the opportunity to take it and use it for our betterment.
Nice, naive and beautiful...wonderful combination if you ask me.
Hmmm....I know what you guys are saying now...."Si jarjar talga, nag explain na naman!" hehe. Fine. That's my trademark. It's part and parcel of who I am. *wink*
Here's the lyrics:
She's only known heartache and pain
But she's never known pain like this
She stands alone defending her name
When all that she's done is be who she is
Well is it so wrong to be who we are
When all she's done is fail
Cause she's so nice, naive and beautiful
Why does she get taken advantage
Why does she live in a world so cold
She takes advantage of the nice, naive and the beautiful
Cold is the throne of her hardened heart
No one has seen the softest part
Day after night she holds an ache
And won't budge to show this secret place
Well is it so wrong to hang on to hurt
Maybe she could set it free
Cause she's so nice, naive and beautiful
Why did she get taken for granted
Why did she live in a world so cold
He took advantage of the nice, naive and the beautiful
Thursday, August 07, 2003
Getting it done...
And we can talk about inspiration and making a difference and changing the world. We can talk about baby steps and helping hands, we can talk about group efforts and great strides, we can talk until we're blue in the face, but talk only gets you so far.
Inspiration is the easy part. It's the follow-through that's hard. I am finding this with myself and the things I do lately. I have so many ideas and plans, but I can't seem to focus. I want to do so much, but I end up doing nothing at all. I don't want to be remembered as the person who is so good at apologizing and postponing. I never wanted to be that kind of girl, with too much on her plate and not enough gumption to get it done.
I want to get things done.
And I have so many ideas and I have so many plans and I see others doing what I could do, what I want to do, and I wish there were more hours in the day and more money in my bank account and more understanding and naptime and free pizza and ice cream for employees who work on the freaking graveyard shift!!!! I could be wrong, but I really think that would help.
And we can talk about inspiration and making a difference and changing the world. We can talk about baby steps and helping hands, we can talk about group efforts and great strides, we can talk until we're blue in the face, but talk only gets you so far.
Inspiration is the easy part. It's the follow-through that's hard. I am finding this with myself and the things I do lately. I have so many ideas and plans, but I can't seem to focus. I want to do so much, but I end up doing nothing at all. I don't want to be remembered as the person who is so good at apologizing and postponing. I never wanted to be that kind of girl, with too much on her plate and not enough gumption to get it done.
I want to get things done.
And I have so many ideas and I have so many plans and I see others doing what I could do, what I want to do, and I wish there were more hours in the day and more money in my bank account and more understanding and naptime and free pizza and ice cream for employees who work on the freaking graveyard shift!!!! I could be wrong, but I really think that would help.
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