|| beyond kodak moments ||


i was reading Twin's blog and it made me contemplate on all of life's episodes i've had with my MM family.

i have said it before and i will say it again ---- i had the best years in MM. yes, i've cried a lot, but back then, i also found myself saying countless times, "this is the life -- IT IS wonderful".

all the joys and pains combined -- they were all worth it. looking back, i know that all of you will agree that we have all matured so much. SO. MUCH. even the littlest of things have contributed to making us stronger and undoubtedly wiser now.

i remember my first day in MM...tahimik pa ko nun. akala din nila tahimik nga ako (mali sila. maling mali sila!! :P). i never thought that Traning Day 1 would lead to a phenomenal 3-year journey.

it just gives me an overwhelming feeling when i think about everything we've overcome so far...

a lost love. a new found love. the death of a loved one. the birth of an angel. people leaving. people coming back. mourning. celebrating. loving. hating. loving and hating at the same time. forgiving. and still trying to forget. giving your all. being wisely selfish the next time. experiencing something honoring yet humbling. trusting. mistrusting. slowly learning to trust again. hurting yet still believing. moving on, and just taking baby steps. looking ahead but taking a glimpse or two of what's behind us.

we may not see each other everyday and not chat as often as we used to...but i know that we will always have each other. kahit saan pa tayo makarating. :)

from melrose place, i think we have evolved into being 7th heaven. :) anyone would kill to be a part of our family.

i miss you guys so much. senti mode nalang talaga...

i love love love you all! (((((hugs))))))



lagay tayong pictures for effect... :)



global picnic 04. Macromedia team: supportive fans of Nene and the Virgins band




easter eve drinking session. ayan puro tayo original macro peeps. walang newbies jan sa picture!




kahit pala noon pa may photo sessions na ang movie group :)




ang jeep. na tayo lang ang laman. :) sa la union nga pala yan. nagpunta tayong bayan kaya nag jeep (oo na oo na oo na explain nako.leche)




almost a year na pala since wedding nina jules and jo. sinong susunod na ikakasal sa tropa? o wag kayo saken tumingin...utang na loob :P hi master and mike! ;)




ang super bongggang party sa PICC. alala nyo yung Miss UN contest? haha! kulet eh. sinabi na kse carnival theme.




may uniform pala tayo nun sa sykes noh?




ano nga ba meron neto? ah wala lang. adik nga lang pala tayo sa pictures




o yan. tapos na ko umiyak...

|| pronounced ||


mind over heart. but in truth, you sometimes allow yourself to lead with your heart.

only for a brief moment.

just enough for you to become barefaced of what you are and where you are at that point.

you'd be overcome by the soft but undeniable beating sound that the heart makes. and when the inevitable sensation rises, it leaves you unfastened.

this is when confusion becomes something familiar to you. a clarity of the unknown. when you accept that instability of making decisions is a process you'd have to go through over and over -- and that there is no getting used to it.

it's that one all-encompassing second that makes you smile with ache.

|| kibitz, kibitz ||



by now, you must have heard that i lost consciousness when i saw Constantine last week. hehe.

tama ba kseng dumaan sya sa harap ko. aaaaaaah!!! i literally could not speak when i saw him. and i was just one foot away from him!

oh well, i won't bore you with any more Constantine talk. basta, ok na ko. pwede nakong mamatay. :D

thanks Pims! :) next time ha magdala na tayo ng camera. :D

to everyone who had to listen to me talk about Constantine, thanks for bearing with me. promise, tapos na ko mangarap.



>>><<<<


for the first time in my MA program, i have a professor in UP that i truly admire. he's smart. he's witty. he's open minded. he really knows what he's talking about. he's refreshingly frank. and he's gay. i love him! :)

i don't know how he's gonna do it, but he has to handle our class which consists of....150 students! grabe noh. tinalo pa namen rizal high school. :D i hope he won't make us wear name tags. for a number of reasons i won't mention anymore, he had to merge 2 sections. thus, the big class was born.

on our second meeting last week, he started holding the big class in the college theater. it's the only "room" in the building that can accommodate all 150 of us. there was this girl who asked permission to go home early. she was having an asthma attack. the professor allowed her to go home. "ok, you may go home hija. i think we have to adjust the airconditioning. hmmm...anyone else here who has asthma?"

about 20 students raised their hands. :| that cracked us up. good luck nalang! i hope we're all still in the course by the end of the sem. we need more airconditioning units and must start requesting for nebulizers in class.

as for my other subject...hmmm... i have nothing much to say. our professor hasn't shown up in class. :D on the first week of school, she was in Laguna. and last week, she was in Bohol. i wonder where she's gonna be this week. she probably forgot to add UP Diliman campus in her itinerary. :P



>>><<<<


i finally got to watch 24 season 4! :D ganda talaga!
the show gets better every season!




>>><<<<


brrrrr!!! it's soooo cold at night and in the early morning!
it's really starting to feel like Christmas. :)




>>><<<<


enzo,

there are no words for how badly you are hurting right now. i cannot begin to imagine the pain you're going through. but i do know that you will rise above it all. like anything else, this too, shall pass.

please stay strong. i love you and i want to see you happy again.

|| the 3 G's cycle ||


it always happens this way.

you feel depressed, you feel utterly sorry for yourself. all the world's miseries are on your shoulders. you attract all negative energies and you start whining.

then you see another person with a much more terrible state you're in.

suddenly, you feel ashamed of yourself. this line would come out of your mouth, "hey, i'm doing fine after all!"

in a twisted sense, seeing others who are doing worse than you actually helps you. it's a grief-then-guilt-then-gratitude process .

i usually feel this way. and most people i know feel this way.

until i came across this person who reacts quite differently. he looks at things the other way.

we were all telling him how wonderful his life is and how he is in a much better position than most people -- because he really is.

he keeps on shaking his head. he just wants to continue sulking and be left alone. the universe can be at its most oppressive state and he would still sit in his own little world minding his own sorrows.

well, to each his own right? the way he handles depression is not my business, really. he likes to feel that way. then let him be.

maybe i am just amazed at how differently he thinks and feels that the rest of us. no amount of other people's tragedies would affect him. his is a grief-then-gripe-then-grief-again kind of cycle.

if the grief-then-guilt-then-gratitude cycle doesn't work for him, then i don't know what will.

i can't believe i'm gonna see you in the flesh.

i think i'm gonna faint.

yesterday was enrollment day. one word: HELL

looong lines, sweat, heat, rude people, and hunger pangs. haaaay....what's new?

oh!!! but there's something different about yesterday's enrollment......
pink was everywhere! as in pink overload!!!

people (yes, "people" -- girls, boys, gays, lesbos) were wearing pink left and right! my friends and i were counting the people wearing pink and we lost count.
oh, and did i mention that my friends and i were all wearing pink too? hahaha!
i swear, nde kme nag usap usap! haha! nagulat ako eh! we also saw this girl who was covered in pink from head to toe! syeeet. galit sya sa pink? pati bag at sandals nya pink.

how many times did i use the word pink in this entry? :P
wala lang. overwhelming lang kase talaga eh.
amazing! :D

geeze...i can't believe i just blogged about that...hehe...

tama lang yan, nonsense post naman. lagi daw depressing mga entries ko eh.



>><<


i saw this bumper sticker on a van:



Lord, give me patience.
RIGHT NOW.

haha! parang, ano ba. prayer ko yata yan eh! :D kulang nalang lagyan sa
dulo --- a prayer from jarjar. mag isa kong tawa ng tawa habang nag d-drive kahapon! and yeah, i looked kinda stupid. :P but hey, that made me laugh and it absolutely put me in a good mood! :D


==


and my friend saw this statement at the back of a jeepney (ano nga ba tawag sa mga ganun sa jeep?):

Dreams comes true


wehehehe...:D



>><<


classes begin today!
bat ganon? eh registration week pa kaya! :|

di bale ok lang. miss ko na library eh. eeeewwww :P

|| faze ||



i am half part of the solution and half part of the problem.

i have the power to decide which one should outweigh the other. but it's not easy.
any decision you make that concerns a person's feelings is never easy.

i find myself looking at both sides with an equal amount of fear and sorrow.

this is the dark cloud that's been following me around...