scattered...

I am scattered all over the place right now. I am carrying an armful of emotions, but they keep falling to the ground, and when i bend down to pick one up, another one falls. So here i am, taking slow steps, holding on tightly to the load. My arms are not strong enough for this.

People say i am strong, but i don't feel strong. I feel like the slightest gust of wind could blow me over. I could crumble into a million pieces and disappear with a breeze.

So many good things are happening. I am not ungrateful, but sometimes i wonder if i deserve it all. One of these days, i think, my luck is going to run out, and then what? I will find myself on some street corner with a handwritten sign asking for your kindness.


Hope and wonder and anxiety and contentment and fear. I don't even know what i'm feeling...