uncoming


it's getting ugly. i am finding more reasons to leave this job.

despite the big opportunity that has been presented to me, i am still not convinced to stay. i know i am a fool to pass this up, but i really cant commit to something if my heart's not into it. yes, the opportunity may be a big thing, but this big thing has been outweighed by the small ones that have really made me start to loathe what i do here everyday. i am every inch tempted to go on AWOL. but i still respect 'the policies". these are the exact same policies that sometimes make my blood pressure rise!

a friend asked me why i don't want to push myself further anymore, why i've stopped challenging myself. and all i could say was, "i'm losing faith in the management". i almost feel sorry saying it. i love this team but some things aren't just working out for the best. whatever happened to looking after everyone's (or at least the majority's) interest?

the zest i used to have at work was probably diverted to school. that's why even if i don't get any sleep, i still attend my classes. sure, the requirements are stressful, but i find a sense of fulfillment and sense of self when i'm in school. and it's like i am thirsty for a change of environment.

it's not a great day at work today. but i still find myself sharing a few laughs with my friends here. i'm even in the mood to take a couple of pictures. hehe. Uberclyde and i were wearing identical shirts....and we had our picture taken behind the red post. christmas colors. just for kicks. :)






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