Tuesday, June 22, 2004

celebrating my tears


i used to cry alone in my room. but even in the confines of own my room, i couldn't wail at my loudest and actually let my frustrations/pain/sadness out. i still feel that i am holding back my real emotions.

somehow i found a new "venue" for weeping...

i blinked...and realized that i was in tears. soft, silent tears that turned into loud sobs and staggered breaths. i was competing with the volume of the stereo. this usually happens when it rains....and when i'm driving alone.

it's a miracle that i get to my destination unscathed. prayers do help. yes, i actually talk to God when i cry. and that's when i cry the loudest.

i continue to drive with my eyes blurry from tears. i can't drive forever...i know i have to stop and turn off the engine soon. i just hope that i can do the same with my tears.

people think that i'm strong. but even strong people cry. and i get tired of being this strong woman. i've put up a wall for protection from the cruelties of this world.. but i destroy that same wall when i need to console myself.

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