walking on egg shells



second time around.


it's happening again. i am the main menu of people's breakfast/lunch/dinner. they savor every bite. they enjoy even the tiniest crumbs -- even if it's tasteless and crap.


i have experienced this before. the only difference this time is, the people involved right now are people who are dear to me. people i actually care about. and that....simply hurts.


i know what they see appears to be wrong. ok ok, i know that there is some truth to that. but does talking behind my back help? what do they really know about what's happening??? ONLY I know about that.


some of them have brazen out this issue with me upfront. that's fine. and i'd rather that they question me directly than discuss it with other people who make conclusions purely based on whatever story they fancy.


love is crazy. i am convinced of that. and i perfectly understand the genuine concern they have for me. i have been given sound advice of the situation that i'm getting into. i prolly know all the right things to do...but i don't understand why something so wrong feels so right.


call me stupid. hollow. erroneous. label me with all kinds of harsh words. i'll take everything. perhaps i deserve to be called such things. but i also know that i deserve to be happy. only, my happiness this time is being judged.


i don't owe the world an explanation. i just wish that they'd somehow, even just for a moment, put themselves in my shoes.

and it does wonders if you sometimes think outside of the box.


if anything, i am grateful that i have true friends who care about me. these are the people who never fall short of becoming the epitome of what true friendship is.


in all honesty, i'd like to follow every piece of advice they give me.



...it just ain't easy...