i wish i were numb


and so i did it. i did the right thing.

it took me a while, however, to convince myself that i was doing this for me...and not for the people around me. somehow, i'm still having doubts.

i'm telling you, what i did was far from being easy. it was one of the most difficult decisions i had to make. once again i have felt how it is to sacrifice your own happiness. and i am certain that no matter how you say that you shouldn't care about what other people think or say about you, you can't help but be distracted...and consequently, become affected. i don't know if that's a good or a bad thing, because at some point you lose your own sense of shrewdness when you're drowning in their voices.

i never had the chance to tell them what i really felt in all those times i was caught in that storm. i don't think they realized that the seemingly harmless teasing they engaged in went overboard. it's simply sickening.

i just wish they can already put an end to this...the same way that i have.