tightly holding a rose...with thorns



seeing you now as the person that you've become, i couldn't help but shudder.
i once considered you as the only person there is to adore.

but i've grown up. i'm not that little girl anymore that you could simply amuse with your ways. back then, it was so easy to make me see you as a hero.

i know, i know, you've given me so much and there is no doubt about your intentions for me. but sometimes, i purely hated you. you have hurt me and her more than anyone could ever have.

the respect i had for you turned into terror. and when i couldn't take it anymore, i thought i'd let you know. a brazen feeling had broken loose in me. i confronted you.
and what did i get? a huge slap on my face.

after that incident, i promised myself that i would never, ever let anyone do that to me again.


one of the tough realities of being an adult: you become aware -- very much aware of the things that were being sugar coated when you were a kid. the answers to my questions were left for me to figure out. they would always say "you'll understand when you grow older".

and now i understand. and i'm dealing with it.

but just for this moment, i want to be that kid again.


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