Friday, April 23, 2004

moments of reticence

if i could, i'd take each one of you to a quiet garden on an unclouded day and we'll talk. i have a very fervent sense of the things that I want to say -- and there's a lot of things that i want to say. but i'm finding it hard to talk lately. I feel mistrusftul and voiceless.

i probably -- no, i DON'T -- owe you anything; i am allowed to keep as much as i want to myself. but the truth is, i want to be loud and fearless as i've been. there are times that i am raring to share stories of my adventures and plans. but i don't know if you'd even care to hear them, so i never do. time will pass, and soon, everything will be so yesterday.

the unhypocritical stories, i know, are those filled with pain, honesty and beauty. stories that i'm dying to hear. stories that i would want to share. i just need the courage to tell them.

i am trying to find my voice again. i trust that wherever it is, i'll find my stength there as well.

moments of reticence can be good. i am in no rush. what the heck are we in a hurry for, anyway? i know that i will find an unfeigned person who will listen to me with eager ears.

in the meantime, i will relish the silence.

the space between who we want to be and who we are seems to shrink and expand depending on where we are in our lives. it's healthy if we just try to be patient through all of the journey.

No comments: