i just looove this sunset picture in Boracay (Diniwid Beach). i feel calm every time i look at this pic.
thanks to my budding photo artist friend Benneth, i now have a new blog skin and desktop wallpaper. weeeeee!!!
note to my kindred:
i also love the sunset pics we took in Galera last month. but i'd rather use this one where our wacky faces are not included. hehe...
i can't wait for our Boracay trip this May! i'm hoping that i can finally take this mission off my list of "things to do before i die". well..i actually don't have such list, but stepping foot in Bora is something that i've been wanting to do for a long looong time now.
i know i haven't worked my butt off compared to the "organizers" of this trip...but i hope i can still do something to help. to Twin, Deej and Kirbs (a.k.a. April Boy), i wanna thank you guys from the bottom of my broken heart (Pachuch, peram ng linya) for making this trip possible. love you! mwah!
ey twin, get well soon!!!!!! hugs!
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Friday, April 23, 2004
moments of reticence
if i could, i'd take each one of you to a quiet garden on an unclouded day and we'll talk. i have a very fervent sense of the things that I want to say -- and there's a lot of things that i want to say. but i'm finding it hard to talk lately. I feel mistrusftul and voiceless.
i probably -- no, i DON'T -- owe you anything; i am allowed to keep as much as i want to myself. but the truth is, i want to be loud and fearless as i've been. there are times that i am raring to share stories of my adventures and plans. but i don't know if you'd even care to hear them, so i never do. time will pass, and soon, everything will be so yesterday.
the unhypocritical stories, i know, are those filled with pain, honesty and beauty. stories that i'm dying to hear. stories that i would want to share. i just need the courage to tell them.
i am trying to find my voice again. i trust that wherever it is, i'll find my stength there as well.
moments of reticence can be good. i am in no rush. what the heck are we in a hurry for, anyway? i know that i will find an unfeigned person who will listen to me with eager ears.
in the meantime, i will relish the silence.
the space between who we want to be and who we are seems to shrink and expand depending on where we are in our lives. it's healthy if we just try to be patient through all of the journey.
if i could, i'd take each one of you to a quiet garden on an unclouded day and we'll talk. i have a very fervent sense of the things that I want to say -- and there's a lot of things that i want to say. but i'm finding it hard to talk lately. I feel mistrusftul and voiceless.
i probably -- no, i DON'T -- owe you anything; i am allowed to keep as much as i want to myself. but the truth is, i want to be loud and fearless as i've been. there are times that i am raring to share stories of my adventures and plans. but i don't know if you'd even care to hear them, so i never do. time will pass, and soon, everything will be so yesterday.
the unhypocritical stories, i know, are those filled with pain, honesty and beauty. stories that i'm dying to hear. stories that i would want to share. i just need the courage to tell them.
i am trying to find my voice again. i trust that wherever it is, i'll find my stength there as well.
moments of reticence can be good. i am in no rush. what the heck are we in a hurry for, anyway? i know that i will find an unfeigned person who will listen to me with eager ears.
in the meantime, i will relish the silence.
the space between who we want to be and who we are seems to shrink and expand depending on where we are in our lives. it's healthy if we just try to be patient through all of the journey.
Monday, April 19, 2004
Personality Analysis from ColorQuiz.com.
Sun Apr 11 15:57:36 2004
Your Existing Situation
Imaginative and sensitive; seeking an outlet for these
qualities--especially in the company of someone equally sensitive. Interest and
enthusiasm are readily aroused by the unusual or the adventurous.
--> i generally seek for something new and exciting.
Your Stress Sources
Feels that life has far more to offer and that there are still
important things to be achieved--that life must be experienced to the fullest.
As a result, she pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity that
will not let go of things. Becomes deeply involved and runs the risk of
being unable to view things with sufficient objectivity, or calmly
enough; is therefore in danger of becoming agitated and of exhausting her
nervous energy. Cannot leave things alone and feels she can only be at
peace when she has finally reached her goal.
--> i really have a great passion for life and i deem it significant that it must not be wasted.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Feels that she cannot do much about her existing problems and
difficulties and that she must make the best of things as they are. Able to
achieve satisfaction from sexual activity. Circumstances are restrictive
and hampering, forcing her to forgo all joys and pleasures for the time
being.
--> making sacrificies was never easy an easy task. but that's what i have to do in the situation i am right now...
Your Desired Objective
Longs for tenderness and for a sensitivity of feeling into which she
can blend. Responsive to anything esthetic and tasteful.
--> all of us want to feel that we belong.
Your Actual Problem
Needs to achieve a stable and peaceful condition, enabling her to free
herself of the worry that she may be prevented from achieving all the
things she wants.
--> peace of mind. peaceful and stress free life. that's all i want.
~~~
The preceding results were generated last week. I tried taking the quiz again today. I just want to find out if anything has changed. Well, everything has, except for my "stress sources". And I really think that this quiz is almost 100% reliable. Below are the results when I took the quiz the 2nd time. My comments are again inline...
~~~
Personality Analysis from ColorQuiz.com.
Mon Apr 19 05:16:13 2004.
Your Existing Situation
Readily participates in things that provide excitement or stimulation.
Wants to feel exhilarated.
--> yup yup. i participate in things that stimulate me. even if it's work related. just like the recently concluded qbr! hehe.
Your Stress Sources
Feels that life has far more to offer and that there are still
important things to be achieved--that life must be experienced to the fullest.
As a result, she pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity that
will not let go of things. Becomes deeply involved and runs the risk of
being unable to view things with sufficient objectivity, or calmly
enough; is therefore in danger of becoming agitated and of exhausting her
nervous energy. Cannot leave things alone and feels she can only be at
peace when she has finally reached her goal.
--> i've always believed that i am a goal oriented being.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither
properly understood or adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being
compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of
emotional involvement. Circumstances force her to compromise and to
forgo some pleasures for the time being. Capable of achieving physical
satisfaction from sexual activity.
--> all of these statements just hit the spot, baby! CONFORM!!! which i absolutely abhor! i hate having to sacrifice my personal freedom.
Your Desired Objective
Needs a change in her circumstances or in her relationships which will
permit relief from stress. Seeking a solution which will open up new
and better possibilities and allow hopes to be fulfilled.
--> definitely true. i am at a point where i'm making a major decision that will affect me both adversely and favorably. is that stressful enough?
Your Actual Problem
The fear that she may be prevented from achieving the things she wants
leads her into a relentless search for satisfaction in the pursuit of
illusory or meaningless activities.
--> simply put, don't mess with me. *wink*
"I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it."
Sun Apr 11 15:57:36 2004
Your Existing Situation
Imaginative and sensitive; seeking an outlet for these
qualities--especially in the company of someone equally sensitive. Interest and
enthusiasm are readily aroused by the unusual or the adventurous.
--> i generally seek for something new and exciting.
Your Stress Sources
Feels that life has far more to offer and that there are still
important things to be achieved--that life must be experienced to the fullest.
As a result, she pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity that
will not let go of things. Becomes deeply involved and runs the risk of
being unable to view things with sufficient objectivity, or calmly
enough; is therefore in danger of becoming agitated and of exhausting her
nervous energy. Cannot leave things alone and feels she can only be at
peace when she has finally reached her goal.
--> i really have a great passion for life and i deem it significant that it must not be wasted.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Feels that she cannot do much about her existing problems and
difficulties and that she must make the best of things as they are. Able to
achieve satisfaction from sexual activity. Circumstances are restrictive
and hampering, forcing her to forgo all joys and pleasures for the time
being.
--> making sacrificies was never easy an easy task. but that's what i have to do in the situation i am right now...
Your Desired Objective
Longs for tenderness and for a sensitivity of feeling into which she
can blend. Responsive to anything esthetic and tasteful.
--> all of us want to feel that we belong.
Your Actual Problem
Needs to achieve a stable and peaceful condition, enabling her to free
herself of the worry that she may be prevented from achieving all the
things she wants.
--> peace of mind. peaceful and stress free life. that's all i want.
~~~
The preceding results were generated last week. I tried taking the quiz again today. I just want to find out if anything has changed. Well, everything has, except for my "stress sources". And I really think that this quiz is almost 100% reliable. Below are the results when I took the quiz the 2nd time. My comments are again inline...
~~~
Personality Analysis from ColorQuiz.com.
Mon Apr 19 05:16:13 2004.
Your Existing Situation
Readily participates in things that provide excitement or stimulation.
Wants to feel exhilarated.
--> yup yup. i participate in things that stimulate me. even if it's work related. just like the recently concluded qbr! hehe.
Your Stress Sources
Feels that life has far more to offer and that there are still
important things to be achieved--that life must be experienced to the fullest.
As a result, she pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity that
will not let go of things. Becomes deeply involved and runs the risk of
being unable to view things with sufficient objectivity, or calmly
enough; is therefore in danger of becoming agitated and of exhausting her
nervous energy. Cannot leave things alone and feels she can only be at
peace when she has finally reached her goal.
--> i've always believed that i am a goal oriented being.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither
properly understood or adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being
compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of
emotional involvement. Circumstances force her to compromise and to
forgo some pleasures for the time being. Capable of achieving physical
satisfaction from sexual activity.
--> all of these statements just hit the spot, baby! CONFORM!!! which i absolutely abhor! i hate having to sacrifice my personal freedom.
Your Desired Objective
Needs a change in her circumstances or in her relationships which will
permit relief from stress. Seeking a solution which will open up new
and better possibilities and allow hopes to be fulfilled.
--> definitely true. i am at a point where i'm making a major decision that will affect me both adversely and favorably. is that stressful enough?
Your Actual Problem
The fear that she may be prevented from achieving the things she wants
leads her into a relentless search for satisfaction in the pursuit of
illusory or meaningless activities.
--> simply put, don't mess with me. *wink*
"I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it."
Thursday, April 15, 2004
i know that in the eyes of the majority, i am a pernicious person.
i am far from being an angel. i know. but someone who would play God and take matters into his own hands is even more unforgiving. i can probably criticize once in a while, but if i have to, i do it constructively and i do it only to the people who ask for it.
no, i am not like you. you, who treat people like trash and categorize them into "biodegradable", "non-biodegrable" and "recyclable". only, you have a more interesting classification...the "lovely, the sullen, and the selfish".
you have placed me in the last group. oh, and did you care to consider if your conclusion was indeed just and correct? as i've stated once, we should be judging people not by the standards we keep, but by the standards they themselves hold.
the root of misjudging is when we judge solely with our eyes, and not with our ears. could you have at least talked to me and listened to what i had to say, you would've probably gained a wiser and more mature insight to all this.
i used to hate people like me. people who are hated by the society because their actions are against the norms. but the tables have turned the moment i was put in their situation. being so gave me a deeper perspective on what they are going through.
i am hurting. badly. and there is absolutely not a thing or a person who can take away the pain. i would have to deal with it -- all by myself. i appreciate all the support i'm getting from the people who care -- who genuinely care -- about me; but the fact still remains...i am broken. and i'm not even gonna try to pick up the pieces and glue them together.
i feel like a prisoner who wasn't given a chance to defend himself in court. but, just like this prisoner, i am not about to give up.
i am not one to simply accept misapprehensions about me.
i am every inch a fighter.
"the battle's almost won...we're only 7 miles from the sun".
i am far from being an angel. i know. but someone who would play God and take matters into his own hands is even more unforgiving. i can probably criticize once in a while, but if i have to, i do it constructively and i do it only to the people who ask for it.
no, i am not like you. you, who treat people like trash and categorize them into "biodegradable", "non-biodegrable" and "recyclable". only, you have a more interesting classification...the "lovely, the sullen, and the selfish".
you have placed me in the last group. oh, and did you care to consider if your conclusion was indeed just and correct? as i've stated once, we should be judging people not by the standards we keep, but by the standards they themselves hold.
the root of misjudging is when we judge solely with our eyes, and not with our ears. could you have at least talked to me and listened to what i had to say, you would've probably gained a wiser and more mature insight to all this.
i used to hate people like me. people who are hated by the society because their actions are against the norms. but the tables have turned the moment i was put in their situation. being so gave me a deeper perspective on what they are going through.
i am hurting. badly. and there is absolutely not a thing or a person who can take away the pain. i would have to deal with it -- all by myself. i appreciate all the support i'm getting from the people who care -- who genuinely care -- about me; but the fact still remains...i am broken. and i'm not even gonna try to pick up the pieces and glue them together.
i feel like a prisoner who wasn't given a chance to defend himself in court. but, just like this prisoner, i am not about to give up.
i am not one to simply accept misapprehensions about me.
i am every inch a fighter.
"the battle's almost won...we're only 7 miles from the sun".
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
gotta fight gotta strike
'cause there's no turning away
from what you don't want to know
gotta see gotta be
if they're all going astray
don't let them take you in tow
you're a one-man shift in the weather
you're the woman who just won't sell
climbing up and ringing the bell
ooh you're gonna make your mark this time
ooh you're gonna set your hope on fire
gotta leave gotta bleed
you've gotta stop lying still
'cause this is no kind of life
you don't need guarantees
you just want something to build
before you turn to the knife
when the streets are aflood like a fever
it's a holiday of the new
we're coming closer now to the truth
gotta move gotta choose
you've got a difference to make
don't watch it happen again
gotta change rearrange
something's bending to break
it's just a matter of when
Hope on Fire
Vienna Teng
'cause there's no turning away
from what you don't want to know
gotta see gotta be
if they're all going astray
don't let them take you in tow
you're a one-man shift in the weather
you're the woman who just won't sell
climbing up and ringing the bell
ooh you're gonna make your mark this time
ooh you're gonna set your hope on fire
gotta leave gotta bleed
you've gotta stop lying still
'cause this is no kind of life
you don't need guarantees
you just want something to build
before you turn to the knife
when the streets are aflood like a fever
it's a holiday of the new
we're coming closer now to the truth
gotta move gotta choose
you've got a difference to make
don't watch it happen again
gotta change rearrange
something's bending to break
it's just a matter of when
Hope on Fire
Vienna Teng
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)