** author's note: the entry below is something i wanted to write at the end of 2003. but i just never got around to writing it. here it is now... :) **


halfway through 50


come december time, most people tend to recollect events that happened during that year. i am one of those people. and this habit is something i am usually bent on taking seriously. not only do i reflect because the year has just ended, but also because i celebrate my birthday during the same month. mine becomes a "double recollection" so to speak.

i have just turned 25 -- i am halfway through 50. one friend asked me "halfway through 50? you talk like you're only gonna live til 50!"


well, i guess so. i keep telling my close friends that i don't want to live a loooong life. so hitting 50 would be like a milestone for me. if i'm already halfway there, that means i must have achieved at least a fraction of my goals. but sometimes i feel like i haven't even begun. i have goals to achieve when i hit 30, 40 and 50. i am 5 years shy from my first target and i haven't had enough guts to go out of my comfort zone. i have always admired people who have survived living on their own. perfect example would be my best friend Pornz. she's been through a lot. and she has managed to turn those trials into triumphs. i look up to her. i hold her with such high regard. ** love you bes :) **

i don't want to belittle myself. i know i have done some remarkable things. but i also know that i should have done better at most occasions.

it's never too late though. just realizing that i have to better myself is already a step forward. that's a good sign. right? right. (",)

i wish that this year would really bring more fortunes to everyone. despite the hardships, i know we will get through.