blunders


people are accustomed to making mistakes; to be at fault once in a while -- or for some -- every now and then in their lives. as a human, i am aware that i will always be imperfect and i will always make mistakes --- but i try not to make them twice. we all learn from every blunder. they become pointers in the journey we take.

we are often too keen on making judgments on people who commit mistakes without having to look on ourselves first. i learned from my friend that our general notion of judgment is based on a self-centered ideal. that shouldn’t be the case. each of us is unique. we should be judging people not by the standards we keep, but by the standards they themselves hold.

we will forever be hurting each other unless we learn to look not into ourselves but outwards to each other. to reach out before we throw. i realized that, it is not me who is constantly smiling and trying to make people smile. i understood perfectly that it is the humanity in me. and i am merely an extension of that humanity.

the shortest distance between hope and despair is a simple "thank you Lord!"

it's a shame that i only become more prayerful when i am most sad. hopeless. miserable.

i remember one of my grade school teachers telling us that when you have a toothache, it's God's way of reminding you that He loves you, that it's His way of making His presence felt. He knows that you'd call on Him when you are in pain. and that's what happened today. there are actually moments when i try to deal with my problems (or mere loneliness) by myself -- forgetting to talk to Him. i can't believe that it even happens.

today, i recalled how it felt to lift everything to Him. and i did just that. i've never been so relieved. not to mention happy. i even thought that i wasn't really lonely -- that i just lost touch with Him for a while. i was spiritually thirsty.

days would seem brighter if i keep in mind that i am doing everything through Him, with him and for Him.

thank you Lord. =)

is it too late to write about valentine's day?


i never thought i'd have quite profound thoughts on the occasion. for the past coupla years, i have dreaded V day. i haven't experienced spending this day with a boyfriend because there was only one February in my life that i had a bf. and at that time, i remember having a quarrel with him a few days before feb. 14. and when V day came, we were both not in the mood to celebrate.

this year, V day's eve was spent at the office. yep, i was on shift! but it was probably the best friday the 13th i have encountered. i've never witnessed a much celebrated V day at work. we had a valentine fair. the photo shoots alone were an amusing episode. i felt ashamed that i didn't participate that much in the preparations for this event. i am part of the socials committee and lately i haven't been socializing, so to speak. i haven't been cooperative. i want to blame the workload for this, but i should look into my attitude. =/ i'm gonna start being good again.

2 days before valentine, Twin and i were discussing how we miss the feeling of receiving flowers. guys will never understand how special it is for a girl to get a bouquet of flowers. even just a single stem is equally special. whether or not there is an occasion. a girl will also never appreciate flowers until she gets a bunch, or a stem.

i thought feb. 14 this year would be the same -- that it would end ordinarily after the usual whistlestop drinking session; that i'd go home with just the new CD (five for fighting) and the jason mraz concert tickets we bought. but things really do happen when you least expect them. i received red roses from this guy. it was special because: 1) it was off-tangent to his personality to give flowers, 2) we were not supposed to see each other that day, 3) he made an effort to make the giving a surprise, and 4) it was valentine's day after all.

so there...my valentine's day ended on a sweet note.


i was never a fan of V day. but i guess that's about to change now...

i realized that celebrating love is wonderful, no matter how corny it could be :)


here are some pics from the macromedia valentine fair:



rts team (everyone's favorite! best in costume na to!)



email team



cs gen team



the tl's



twin and i wasting some shots. hehe.



some of the committee peeps with majay



posing with pao and jouie

I'm still in no mood to write. So I'm just gonna post this...



1. I wish... I were happy right now

2. I don't know what to do if... hmmm...I have yet to be in a situation wherein God wouldn't help me what to do. I'm not being righteous, but I believe it's true.

3. Do you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend? name.... none (promise wala :P)

4. If u could change your name, to what would u change it to? Bianca Louise, Denise, Parish Noelle

5. I miss...the feeling of being pampered and extremely loved.

6. If you get stranded on an island and you could only
bring 5 people for company, who would it be? And why? my family. 5 na sila. no explanation necessary.

7. I love...life. even if it sucks sometimes

8. The person/s I would NEVER forget...Cy, RG, Weh

9. If I could do one thing all over again...nah, I woouln't change anything.

10. I'd rather... be happy than famous.

in a rut


every minute, i am finding more reasons to be all alone. i delight every moment of it. and never have i looked forward to coming home straight from work. today, i spent 11 hours in my bed sleeping. sarap!

i haven't heard so many bad news all at the same time. life can be cruel. and although i believe that there will be better days ahead, i can't help but feel glum..and this feeling will drag on for a while.

i feel unwanted, unappreciated, abandoned, unimportant.

life, especially my work, is becoming a routine. a boring, dry and unchallenging routine. i need a long paid vacation. i want to be extracted from the busy life of the city. even the most sociable person needs solitary time. i love my friends and i appreciate their company. but i just want to be by my myself, for now.

me, myself and i. that's all i've got.


i want to be invisible.